it's july already?

goodness, time goes by fast, does it not?
though i didn't feel that time went by so quickly when i was in school. i'd always be looking at the next deadline, and always wasting time, then rushing at the end to make it in time...what a funny thing, time is. we either always have too much or not enough.

well anyways, since the last post, my CMV virus (i think that's redundant...) is negative, which means it no longer poses as a threat, praise God! there are many things to praise God for this month. It's my birthday soon! It's the 4th of july, which is like a huge holiday (with lots of yummy foods i cant eat...haha)...i recently received a HUGE financial aid for my duke health bill, no more stress over money!! it's been a whole year since i've been diagnosed and i'm still alive, amazingly (considering how i treated myself when i first got sick, i'm surprised i didn't die, again...thank the Lord), and recovering! um i have T-cells again...which is a good thing i assure you. And there are much much more to praise God for, so i'll end my list here.
oh and i get a week off from going to clinic, thank goodness. though i've gotten pretty chummy with the nurses there. is that the right word?

anyways i think, as i am about to leave my teens forever, and become 20 in a few days, i have learned quite a lot this past year. one thing is the lesson of waiting, which produces hope patience faith, and whoa! it was a hard lesson. i'm still not really getting the hang of it. i know a lot of people are reading my blog and thinking that all i do is eat cookies and pizza everyday - and that is the complete opposite, but i blog about it, because it's a big deal in my life. i've used food as goal points - haha. like before i couldnt have any solid food, it was to have chicken noodles, and then after that (when i was only eating noodles and soup, gah that got so overused) my goal was rice and stirfried stuff, then PIZZA, and cookies and ice cream, now it's umm (haha) FRENCH FRIES. yummy.
but the point is, my dad told me that perhaps God took away my favorite thing to do (which is to eat), to teach me self discipline, control, and how to wait. i think this is very true. i was reading about abraham this morning, and seriously how long did HE have to wait for God's covanent? i mean he just packed up everything and moved but didnt really get to see it all happen (and not even completely) til the end of his life. but man, if anyone has immortality in the worldly sense (does that make sense?) it's abraham. there are mulitple nations that call him their ancestors, and he's known as the father of all of us christians, through faith...i suppose waiting can't be a terrible thing - haha. though i dont want to be a father of a nation...

and of course all my food goals are junk food because the healthy foods, i still cant have!! like corn (which will be my goal for next year july) and i REALLY want a salad. but gosh these raw things have germs.

anyways. waiting. i think that's what i'll be doing a lot during my 20th year of life. as well as this past year. well at least waiting before i can go back to school. but i think, like abraham, i will fill my waiting years with meaningful growth and "stuff"...for the lack of a better word.

anyways, thanks for reading! leave me comments if you like to :) i enjoy reading them.
<3