so that sore throat of mine became a flow blown sore throat along with fever and all that...i was put on two new pills for a while, but now am coming off of them again (one was an anti fungal, one was an antiviral). i got a shot this two mondays ago, to boost my red blood cell growth, so they can take a unit of blood away again next time to reduce my iron levels. except when i went for a checkup this past monday, they decided that they weren't going to draw any more of my blood, and just let my iron levels lower themselves. just this past week i've been feeling all nauseous, and have been vomiting from friday middle of the night to during the day time, a total of 4 times, then again starting saturday middle of the night, vomiting two times. i went to the clinic, got an abdominal xray and apparently there wasn't anything wrong besides "a lot of poop" aka i was constipated and hurting from that. oh did i mention i was in A LOT of belly pain and was taking a lot of pain medication (which was increasing my constipation...ironic isnt it?).
but that still doesn't explain the nausea, which i still have right now. i think it was the shot. usually the epo has reactions within 3 days, but this shot's formula is slower acting...so the side effects are showing up now...2 weeks later. SIGH. it is not comfortable. but at least this time around i get 2 months break, before i have to go back to the clinic again! YAY! thanks for all the prayers! hopefully this will be a good 2 months (as soon as this nausea goes away...).
i think the weather lately has been terrible. i don't like hot and muggy...i don't see how i survived so many years of north carolina weather - heh. i suppose i wouldn't mind it so much if i liked wearing little clothing or what not, but i'm not too into that either - i'm a big fan of layer and knits - so i suppose chicago was a good choice for me.
i did, however, enjoy the rain, very much.
in between all of those discomforting days, i had a good week (or so). my good friend, cindy wei, came over to my house to stay for a few days. we went to see despicable me at the theaters (matinee of course, when no one was there...thought actually - surprisingly - there were a lot of people there on a sunday afternoon PEOPLE GO TO CHURCH!!!...i still can't - irony again). we watched a lot of HOUSE md, and other random, useless things.
you know what i've discovered...you know how we're told to read the Bible everyday, and sometimes you just don't feel like it (or rather, i'll speak for myself, i don't feel like it) or i feel like "oh i'm too busy now, i'll do it later". but recently i've been feeling none of those excuse, but one of another genre. the one that goes "what new thing can i get out of the bible anyways, i've read it so many times" and "what if what i read today doesn't even really apply to my life" (i asked that a lot while reading through jeremiah...and am now stuck in lamentations...) but yesterday night i had a revelation, while watching House (which I do almost religiously now). i realized why, so many years ago, i gave up watching horror movies - it was because a youth group leader (i forgot her name) told me once that whatever you take in is whatever you put out. whether that's food, what what you watch or what you read, or the people that you hang out with. well, last night, as i was watching house, i realized that i've made HOUSE my bible almost, i listen to his words, what he says and does, and praise him for his actions in the show more than i read God's words, listen to what He says, studies what He did in the past and is doing in the present, and praise God for who He is. So it's like people saying "i've made money my God/idol" or whatever, I've been substituting other things for God - not on purpose of course. But just the sheer frequency and amount of time i spend with Dr. Gregory House, as opposed to reading the Bible and speading time with God. I think, even if I don't get anything out of it IMMEDIATELY, it will still have an effect, just like all the other things i am putting into my head will.
anyways, having said that i still need help getting through lamentations and a few of the other prophets, haha. working on it though!
well i suppose i'll update later. have a good HOT HOT day!
<3
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
sugar and spice, and all things nice
that does well to describe how my birthday weekend went. i was flattered with the presence of two groups of friends, one on friday night (my actual birthday) and one on saturday night. and endowed with many gifts including Life, the game of (though of course it is a good remind of another year of life...itself) bubble gum machine, cake (the carrot variety as well as the chocolate, and i want more cake!!) make up, yay it always makes me happy to be able to paint my face, and lots and lots of balloons. tehe almost like in UP. but not enough to lift heavy (or not so) little me up skyward.
anyhows it was a good birthday. thank you all who made it ever so special and to my wonderful parents and my overly excited brother who, i think, was mostly excited about getting cake. haha. and for playing taboo with me :D because i like playing games.
um. reminds me of my card playing days back in high school....
anyways. i got my cathater pulled out of my chest the other day, reduced the number of pills so i only have to take 3 instead of the assortment that would make even a grandmother in a retirement home proud, or queasy. um. all in all God has provided faithfully and beyond imagination, and has made becoming 20 a very good thing. i suppose turning 19 was not too bad either, but it was in a hospital...
anyways yesterday i developed a sore throat...umm... hope it's not what a sore throat usually means. ugh. having a good time playing monopoly with my brother and father, who insists on not buying property and losing very badly... oh well. this is why he's not in business - haha! joking.
nothing much to this update really. just thanks for all the friends who came, to my parents for putting up with me, and for the friends in chicago who sent me love and for not forgetting me (even though i've been gone for quite a long time) and for all the people still praying for me!
<3
anyhows it was a good birthday. thank you all who made it ever so special and to my wonderful parents and my overly excited brother who, i think, was mostly excited about getting cake. haha. and for playing taboo with me :D because i like playing games.
um. reminds me of my card playing days back in high school....
anyways. i got my cathater pulled out of my chest the other day, reduced the number of pills so i only have to take 3 instead of the assortment that would make even a grandmother in a retirement home proud, or queasy. um. all in all God has provided faithfully and beyond imagination, and has made becoming 20 a very good thing. i suppose turning 19 was not too bad either, but it was in a hospital...
anyways yesterday i developed a sore throat...umm... hope it's not what a sore throat usually means. ugh. having a good time playing monopoly with my brother and father, who insists on not buying property and losing very badly... oh well. this is why he's not in business - haha! joking.
nothing much to this update really. just thanks for all the friends who came, to my parents for putting up with me, and for the friends in chicago who sent me love and for not forgetting me (even though i've been gone for quite a long time) and for all the people still praying for me!
<3
Saturday, July 3, 2010
it's july already?
goodness, time goes by fast, does it not?
though i didn't feel that time went by so quickly when i was in school. i'd always be looking at the next deadline, and always wasting time, then rushing at the end to make it in time...what a funny thing, time is. we either always have too much or not enough.
well anyways, since the last post, my CMV virus (i think that's redundant...) is negative, which means it no longer poses as a threat, praise God! there are many things to praise God for this month. It's my birthday soon! It's the 4th of july, which is like a huge holiday (with lots of yummy foods i cant eat...haha)...i recently received a HUGE financial aid for my duke health bill, no more stress over money!! it's been a whole year since i've been diagnosed and i'm still alive, amazingly (considering how i treated myself when i first got sick, i'm surprised i didn't die, again...thank the Lord), and recovering! um i have T-cells again...which is a good thing i assure you. And there are much much more to praise God for, so i'll end my list here.
oh and i get a week off from going to clinic, thank goodness. though i've gotten pretty chummy with the nurses there. is that the right word?
anyways i think, as i am about to leave my teens forever, and become 20 in a few days, i have learned quite a lot this past year. one thing is the lesson of waiting, which produces hope patience faith, and whoa! it was a hard lesson. i'm still not really getting the hang of it. i know a lot of people are reading my blog and thinking that all i do is eat cookies and pizza everyday - and that is the complete opposite, but i blog about it, because it's a big deal in my life. i've used food as goal points - haha. like before i couldnt have any solid food, it was to have chicken noodles, and then after that (when i was only eating noodles and soup, gah that got so overused) my goal was rice and stirfried stuff, then PIZZA, and cookies and ice cream, now it's umm (haha) FRENCH FRIES. yummy.
but the point is, my dad told me that perhaps God took away my favorite thing to do (which is to eat), to teach me self discipline, control, and how to wait. i think this is very true. i was reading about abraham this morning, and seriously how long did HE have to wait for God's covanent? i mean he just packed up everything and moved but didnt really get to see it all happen (and not even completely) til the end of his life. but man, if anyone has immortality in the worldly sense (does that make sense?) it's abraham. there are mulitple nations that call him their ancestors, and he's known as the father of all of us christians, through faith...i suppose waiting can't be a terrible thing - haha. though i dont want to be a father of a nation...
and of course all my food goals are junk food because the healthy foods, i still cant have!! like corn (which will be my goal for next year july) and i REALLY want a salad. but gosh these raw things have germs.
anyways. waiting. i think that's what i'll be doing a lot during my 20th year of life. as well as this past year. well at least waiting before i can go back to school. but i think, like abraham, i will fill my waiting years with meaningful growth and "stuff"...for the lack of a better word.
anyways, thanks for reading! leave me comments if you like to :) i enjoy reading them.
<3
though i didn't feel that time went by so quickly when i was in school. i'd always be looking at the next deadline, and always wasting time, then rushing at the end to make it in time...what a funny thing, time is. we either always have too much or not enough.
well anyways, since the last post, my CMV virus (i think that's redundant...) is negative, which means it no longer poses as a threat, praise God! there are many things to praise God for this month. It's my birthday soon! It's the 4th of july, which is like a huge holiday (with lots of yummy foods i cant eat...haha)...i recently received a HUGE financial aid for my duke health bill, no more stress over money!! it's been a whole year since i've been diagnosed and i'm still alive, amazingly (considering how i treated myself when i first got sick, i'm surprised i didn't die, again...thank the Lord), and recovering! um i have T-cells again...which is a good thing i assure you. And there are much much more to praise God for, so i'll end my list here.
oh and i get a week off from going to clinic, thank goodness. though i've gotten pretty chummy with the nurses there. is that the right word?
anyways i think, as i am about to leave my teens forever, and become 20 in a few days, i have learned quite a lot this past year. one thing is the lesson of waiting, which produces hope patience faith, and whoa! it was a hard lesson. i'm still not really getting the hang of it. i know a lot of people are reading my blog and thinking that all i do is eat cookies and pizza everyday - and that is the complete opposite, but i blog about it, because it's a big deal in my life. i've used food as goal points - haha. like before i couldnt have any solid food, it was to have chicken noodles, and then after that (when i was only eating noodles and soup, gah that got so overused) my goal was rice and stirfried stuff, then PIZZA, and cookies and ice cream, now it's umm (haha) FRENCH FRIES. yummy.
but the point is, my dad told me that perhaps God took away my favorite thing to do (which is to eat), to teach me self discipline, control, and how to wait. i think this is very true. i was reading about abraham this morning, and seriously how long did HE have to wait for God's covanent? i mean he just packed up everything and moved but didnt really get to see it all happen (and not even completely) til the end of his life. but man, if anyone has immortality in the worldly sense (does that make sense?) it's abraham. there are mulitple nations that call him their ancestors, and he's known as the father of all of us christians, through faith...i suppose waiting can't be a terrible thing - haha. though i dont want to be a father of a nation...
and of course all my food goals are junk food because the healthy foods, i still cant have!! like corn (which will be my goal for next year july) and i REALLY want a salad. but gosh these raw things have germs.
anyways. waiting. i think that's what i'll be doing a lot during my 20th year of life. as well as this past year. well at least waiting before i can go back to school. but i think, like abraham, i will fill my waiting years with meaningful growth and "stuff"...for the lack of a better word.
anyways, thanks for reading! leave me comments if you like to :) i enjoy reading them.
<3
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