I guess, it's actually WINTER!

LAST POST EVER ON THIS BLOG!

So it snowed. I'm excited. I never used to get excited about snow in Cary, because it usually sucks. But this time it looks clean, and crisp (and a little bit wet...yuck) and fresh! Yay!

So it's almost been a year, soon - on Dec 11th (coming up) is my immune system/my new birthday! I will be having cake. Ha! But there's really no point in going on with this blog. I'm sure it's boring people to death/no one except a few dedicated people (thank you!!) read this.

However, just for the blog's sake, I will update. I did happen to encounter a virus recently (Thanksgiving was bunch of fun, I got to go out and EAT, and see FRIENDS! but I also go sick...) and had to go to the hospital to be watched. And it caused my GI tract to stop moving, so the stuff and air just got stuck and gave me a lot of pain...poo. Anyways, I'm getting better. I had a slight fever, lots of coughing and sputum that was yucky brown/green colored. I couldn't eat anything good for like a week. Anyways, I guess I have the flu virus or something, but it hit harder than for normal people.

But I'm getting better so praise God!

Can't wait for my cake! And for moving on to a new chapter of life. I actually am considering transferring to UNC now... my body is definitely not strong. But I think if I were to go to Chicago again, God will give me strength. After all I felt really called to go there in the first place. We'll see. Well goodbye dear readers! I will have a new blog, but it won't be really directly relate to my transplant process/recovery. Here's the address anyways (I doubt any of the occasional adults who read this blog would care for the new one..) greymattermusings.blogspot.com

I haven't gotten much on it yet, but will I hope, keep up better with this new one than this one. Kaaay! Byyye.
<3 Sarah

The rain, on the plain, in spain?

I am looking outside, to the back porch, and it looks glorious. Yes it is rainy and gloomy, but I quite like it. I'm glad the weather has gone down, though I no longer have enough fat to keep me warm...

A week after the last post, I had some stomach problems (it hurt a little for a day or so) because I think I ate too many tangerines and clementines that week...so I haven't had any since then. I also had a bad day when I ate too much steak one day. So I guess even if I'm trying to gain weight quickly, it wont come.

My iron levels are still too high - which is ironic right? Because most Asians I know are anemic, and lacking what I have in surplus. So tomorrow I will go to the hospital again and they will try to draw a pint of blood to throw away so it can lower my iron levels. I'm praying hard that it will succeed, because last time we tried this, they poked me FIVE times before giving up because apparently none of my veins (which are over used) will take in a iv needle. SIGH.

Well, nothing much on my end. Last time I checked my blood, my red blood cells were low - I don't know why since they've been normal for a while...But anyways, hopefully when I'm a little stronger, I will be able to attend church again! Yay! I'm very excited, since I think maybe that goal can be achieved this month. So I'm hoping to see some of you at church, yay!

<3

the beginning of the end, and to a new beginning

If that makes any sense...

So update time! Basically I'm almost all clear for any kinds of foods - I started eating clementines last week which is a big deal, because up til last week I wasn't allowed to eat "sour"/acidic foods. I've been tolerating pretty well, praise God! I've also had hot pot last week, which I know is kind of early, but I LOVE hot pot, especially my mommy's sauce with stinky tofu and shachajiang and other stuff. TOP SECRET haha. She accidentally made it really spicy the first time, and I had some - but it didn't hurt my tummy. (Though I'm sure it would have, if I kept it up...I'm sure) So that means I can tolerate a little bit of spicy and acidic now, which is a big deal.

Once I get my immunization shots, then I can go out and hopefully eat a hamburger! Yay!
Oh I made some more food, that I have pictures for.I tried to make some french toast with bacon and raspberries for my brother one morning.
And I made some steak and mashed potatoes for dinner once. Yummy! I overcooked it though...but I can't have like bloody meat so, I guess I have an excuse...

Also, last Saturday, I went "mountain" climbing at Eno River State Park. I think the highest point there was 700 feet, which I suppose is a mini-mountain in this state. I made it almost to the top of the 700 feet, but GOSH, climbing up that steep of a mountain was very difficult for me. BUT I ALMOST MADE IT! I walked like two miles, about, that day - that's pretty good for me now! I have some pictures. It was very beautiful...I'm so happy when I don't have to be stuck at home, it's really depressing being home all the time.
The suspension bridge at the Eno River - very freaaaky!
The river!, before climbing up the big stinky, steep mountain. I look terrible. yuuucky.

Oh I went to adventure landing to play a while back, I think I mentioned it. Here's go carts!
Yay for fun!
<3

Falllllll

Three cheers for fall, officially. Since a week ago, it was too hot to actually be fall - autumn, whatever you wish to call it. I'm happy with the weather. Very nice and cool, very windy, very good.

So I think I'm going to stop this blog after I turn immunologically 1, because really, my life is pretty boring. I'm going to go work on my other blog after this.

Update time! So basically for all of you who are wondering, I don't get any more treatments, I'm recovering very nicely. I do go to the bone marrow clinic occasionally to get checkups. Soon I will get my immunization shots, then I'll be like a free bird! I'm hoping to visit friends at UNC, go back to church, and join AO for as long as I'm going to be here, and do other fun things...like GO TO THE LIBRARY!...hahaha because I'm a nerd. Sigh.

I've been taking walks every morning and night, always avoiding the sun of course, and it's been quite tiring. I still get tired very easily, and I occasionally forget to take my pills. My brain just isn't what it was before.

But to the request of my dear, lovely friend who reads this ever so faithfully, here are some pictures of those Momofuku pork buns, and some canto styled bbq pork ribs (no I'm not Cantonese...). They turned out DELISH. I guess I'm a natural born cook (wink wink) - haha, just kidding.


These are baked pork belly with hoisin sauce and pickles/cucumbers fresh, with scallions. YUMMMY. David Chang is genius.
Broiled bbq pork ribs.

No pictures of the mustard and pork belly sorrrry.
Maybe I'll update pictures later if I ever get to cooking again. Cooking is tiring for me, standing around, mixing stuff and all that. I had to like sit at the table and mix the flour and stuff for the pork buns. SO WEAK.

I'm gaining weight! Mostly from eating all this junk, ha.

So yeah, I don't think I want to transfer. I think it's funny how most of the UChicago students are telling me I shouldn't and all the adults here are telling me I should. I just really don't feel like God is directing me towards UNC or Duke or whatever else. I mean I asked Him to give me a notable sign if I should transfer, but so far nothing.

Now my dad is going crazy about wanting to find a job in Chicago and moving the whole family there, HA. That will never work because my family hates the cold. My mom is already complaining about the weather here, and it's not even below 50 yet. Oi.

Well, ta ta until next time!
<3

Let's be interactive here...

Hello faithful readers!
Thanks again for actually caring about my boring, and do I mean boring. But I suppose I try to make it sound more exciting for you, out there, reading.

I have a wonderful idea, it's almost like the enlightenment of blogging - like the renaissance of blogging! How about all you dear readers, if you have time because I know your life is much more eventful than mine, leave me comments! Then I feel like I am actually talking to someone.

I was thinking about this because recently my parents have gotten even more aggressive with their "suggestions" at transferring school for next year. In fact they offered to buy me a new car if I agree to such prosperous (or maybe not?) idea. Here's how the conversation kind of went:

Mom or Dad: "You should transfer schools because that way we can barge in on you anytime we like and make sure you stay a baby and dependent on us forever - and so that we can regulate you're every move and therefore you will no longer have any freedom...MWAHAHAHA
(translate: you should transfer schools so we can take care of you so you wont get sick from stressing out too much and we can make you food -even if chinatown's restaurant food is much better- and you'll be closer to home so we can visit you and you can come home every weekend!)"
Me: "No."
Mom or Dad (see I don't remember the details): "If you go to school here, we can buy you a new car!"
Me: "Ha.ha. That's funny. I want a BMW."
Dad (it was def him): "That can be worked out!"
Me (staring in disbelief): "Um, no it can't. We don't have any money..."
Dad: "We can borrow money!"
Me: "WE'RE ALREADY IN DEBT!!!"

I forgot what my dad said, but it was stupidly optimistic...haha. Three things I conclude from this: 1. My parents are clearly desperate/love me too much to be even offering this (and yes it is in earnest, not in a joking way) 2. I think I rather have a Mustang, in classic red, just like the good ol Chinese I am 3. Bribes are very good at convincing me to change my stubborn mind - which would make me a terrible court judge or jury or whatever (ha!).

But now I have a good reason to transfer (a car!) and a reason to NEVER transfer (we clearly don't have money to buy some ridiculous new car, or even a used one). Of course Uchicago is like 10 times more expensive than UNC, but I get some grant money...sigh. There are pros and cons to everything.
Which is why I would appreciate your comments :) Tell me what you think please.

On the other hand, I've been working on my cooking. I've semi mastered the taste of meicaikourou (which dried preserved mustard and bork belly, poached), the first time I put too much sugar, following the recipe. I realized this is because I am following a Cantonese person's cookbook, and apparently they love their sugar. It still looks like doggie doo, but tastes pretty good :) Then I tried some barbecue pork ribs, broiled yesterday night. ERM!! I don't know how to use a broiler, so I charred one side of it before realizing I should have used the LOW setting instead of the HIGH. I also used too much Hoisin (that's haixian for the rest of us Chinese) sauce...again following the recipe. I did use my brain and pre-cut the amount of honey I used (thank goodness!!). Anyways cooking is much fun! Soon I hope to learn how to make Beijing duck. SOOOOO excited! Yay.

Well, I guess it's karma.

Now that I have officially established that I fail at keeping updates on my blog, I think I have managed to lose most of my readers...right at the time I decided to reform. Oh well, here goes to talking to myself, and the emptiness of the world wide web. Cheers.

So...lately I've been thinking about how weird it is, my position in life...or my life in general. In terms of years, technically I'm 20 years old, physically (organ wise) I'm like 50 years old because of all the wear and tear of treatment, immunologically I'm not even 1 years old, and emotionally I sometimes feel like an 8 year old, sometimes an 80 year old.

GOSH. Now how does that work out? I mean sure there are people who are like "child at heart" or like "too mature for their age" or whatever the cliche is, but this is ridiculous.

I just wanted to post about this because I find it really, really odd. That's all.

Oh yeah. I'm going through STEROID withdraw. All good citizens refrain from calling the police to rat me out, all policemen refrain from jumping into your little nifty alarm capable, blue and white cars and racing over to my house - it was prescribed. Whew. I mean after all I'm not a baseball player, nor am I a woman seeking to look like a man (do I need help in that apartment... NO. And yes I do remember all those nasty little fiends that said "Oh Sarah, you're soooooo MANLY" in high school. But don't worry, because Jesus forgave me, I forgive you as well. OTHERWISE, you might be in trouble...mwahaha...).

So no I am not either of those, I am just a sick person who's body became addicted to steroids. Now, steroid withdraw comes with nasty little side effects like muscle ache, and overall body discomfort. Fun fact: it's because cortisol (fight or flight hormone) (which is apparently in steroids) is naturally produced, but when the body has outside sources of it, its adrenal glands stop producing it on its own. So when I stopped taking my steroids, as ordered by doctor, my adrenal glands have yet to wake up and start producing hormones again. So, the conclusion is, I feel yucky and awful (not quite the same thing) for a few days. Well it's been 5, but hey who's counting? Hopefully misery will be over soon! Always hopeful!
<3

***OPPS. I guess cortisol isn't the actual fight or flight hormone (my physician lied to me!), it's the other thing that the adrenal gland produces. But cortisol is increased during fight or flight...Anyways I don't know what is in steroids...so I Googled it. Here's what I got from http://www.marvistavet.com/html/body_prednisone.html "Prednisone and prednisolone are members of the glucocorticoid class of hormones. This means they are steroids but, unlike the anabolic steroids that we hear about regarding sports medicine, these are "catabolic" steroids. Instead of building the body up, they are designed to break down stored resources (fats, sugars and proteins) so that they may be used as fuels in times of stress. Cortisone would be an example of a related hormone with which most people are familiar. Glucocorticoids hormones are produced naturally by the adrenal glands to prepare us metabolically for physical exercise and stress."

We learn new things everyday!

I fail at keeping a blog...

Well hello people.

My dad stopped his little calender, and I think there are still some people who want to read my blog updates (or at least one, which is I suppose, enough reason for me to continue).

It's been 9 months! I can't believe it. I hope that I get a yummy cake on December 11th, for my 1st year birthday - haha. My mom's birthday is coming up next month, as well as my parents 21st anniversary! I got my mom some face products from Sephora.

I sometimes wonder what my mom was like when she was my age, and how she turned out the way she did. I think as we kids grow older, our parents grow wiser (haha).

There's not much to update really. Since the last time I updated, I finished 6 seasons of House because I'm an official loser. I've reduced my pill intake to only two a day (one type of pill - antiviral). I ordered these two awesome cookbooks and am working my way through them one at a time. And then yesterday I watched "Julie&Julia", which I was quite inspired by. Though I am not cooking through Julia Child's cookbook (since the ones I ordered are Asian food: Chinese one, and Momofuku) it's kind of cool to see someone journal their journey through something. I've always had the problem that Julia Powell did - and that is starting projects with full force then never finishing them. Take for example, my novel (ha.ha...) which I wrote 60 something pages to, and just left it there, TWICE. Actually the first time I wrote it, I left it at almost 100 pages, but then I decided it sucked, so I started over from page 1 and wrote 60. I think I will start another blog for my writing, so that I can actually achieve something, other than wasting my time.
Actually, I already have another blog set up for creative writing, but obviously, I suck at blogging, so it's been left abandoned.

Well overall, my health is getting better, I take longer walks now, and can ALMOST jog constantly for a short time. My weight has reached 115 lbs, which is a lot better than the 109 lbs it was a month, or so, ago. I have more energy and have been skipping my afternoon naps, sometimes. And I miss human interaction...haha. I feel like I'm a caveman or something. Or a houseman...since I live in a house, not a cave (har har).

I'm very excited about the new health law, yay for better health insurance! I'll try to do weekly updates on this blog, for those few who read it :) I'm actually really surprised people would want to read my blog, I feel like blogging is so narcissistic...unless it had a specific point to it. I suppose this is my "health/post transplant" blog...haha.

<3